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Deciding to become a parent is one thing. Deciding when to become a parent is another.
In order to decide whether to become a parent, it is important to have realistic expectations. Here’s a quick reality check on what being a parent is about.
Reality Check — What to Expect
Realistic Unrealistic
[] [] Being a good parent will come naturally.
[] [] Having a child will make everything in my life fall into place.
[] [] I won’t have problems with my child if I love my child enough.
[] [] My child will give me all the love I need.
[] [] My child will be happy if I’m a good parent.
[] [] Everything will go smoothly if I try hard enough.
[] [] My kids will grow up to be what I want them to be.
You get an “A” if you understand that all of these expectations are unrealistic. Women and men with unrealistic expectations may not be prepared for
the real work of parenthood.
When to Have a Child
Whether you are planning a pregnancy or having an unplanned pregnancy, whether you have a partner or plan to be a single parent, here are some considerations about deciding if it’s time to have a child. If there are two of you, see if your reality checks match.
Reality Check — When to Have a Child
Certain Uncertain
[] [] I am ready to help a child feel wanted and loved.
[] [] I am ready to cope with tighter budgets, less time for myself,
and more stress.
[] [] I communicate well with my partner, family, and friends.
[] [] I will be able to keep from harming the child physically or emotionally.
[] [] I am ready to come to terms with my own childhood experience.
[] [] I have the support of family and friends.
[] [] I am not rigid about how to solve problems.
[] [] I am ready to accept responsibility to try and meet all the levels of
need my child develops.
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